4 posts tagged “life”
And yes, I am moving back in with my parents. I am one of those college kids.
Before and after:
I swiffered my room and it felt amazing. My room is wayyy cleaner than it was (it had accumulated four years of dust from me not really living here. Even in the summer when I was sort of living here... That doesn't really count.
In other news, SF is in Greece and has been emailing me every chance he has. :) It's nice to know he is thinking about me because I think about him a lot too. I hope this doesn't end up like the scientist.
Speaking of the scientist, most awkward things happened the other day. I needed to get my bike lock off my bike (minus the key) so I asked him to help. He had to ask for my number again which means he deleted it after I broke things off, how lame is that?! And then when he was over he asked me if he could still come on the interior/backcountry camping trip that BFF and myself go on every year with a few friends. I was like are you kidding? But I was caught off-guard and had been drinking heavily the night before, so I mumbled something that he took as a 'yes' which annoyed me to no end. I can't see him again or I will want to shoot myself in the face.
The reason I was drinking heavily the night before was because it was my last night out in my university town. I can't believe it's over. It was a fantastic final night though, I ran into junior and the sexual chemistry is still there. I'm not sure that is something that will leave. We danced a lot together and he kept stopping telling me that "he couldn't do this" because he was "seeing someone". I thought we were just dirty dancing but apparently that really had an effect on him. I was also heavily intoxicated at the time which probably didn't help, the dancing gets pretty slutty when I'm feeling that way. I felt bad for two seconds and moved on with my life. Junior and I will be friends in the future but nothing more.
I am still in a little bit of disbelief that this is it, that I am done with university forever. I know it will hit me once I have written my RN licensing exam, but that won't happen til early June. So I have about a month to let it sink in... we'll see how I deal. I think I'm done here for the night, I'm exhausted. This post has been the most rambly ever. I will do that random 8 facts thing... later. Tomorrow, most likely.
I am exhausted.
I am also frustrated in both my personal and professional life.
Personally, I am annoyed by all the assumptions that people make in life. I acted friendly towards a male friend of mine (the same way I always did), and all of a sudden this became misconstrued for romantic interest and he is now giving me the cold shoulder, I presume in an effort to deter me from my supposed affections. I don't have time for immaturity like this. Get over yourself. I'm just being friendly. I am not interested in romance at this point in my life.
Professionally, I had a rough night at the hospital. I was supposed to be shadowing on labour and delivery last night. I helped with one natural delivery at around 9:30pm. Afterwards I was not allowed into the next delivery because it was so crowded in the room and the birth became a little complicated. The nurse I was shadowing told me to go for break early because I was looking pretty pale and was feeling exhausted. I went to go lie down. She came in at 3am and told me to keep sleeping despite the fact that someone was giving birth. I got sent home early.
I came home and felt pissed off with myself and the whole situation for about an hour and a half. I am still not too happy about the way that went. I am completely turned off by labour and delivery and don't even want to think about working in that sector of the hospital. I don't understand why the nurses there were so unfriendly. I felt useless and ignored the entire time I was there. Fuck.
The older generation of nurses shouldn't complain about being short-staffed when they treat students and potential new workers like shit when they come on the ward. No, I have not nursed for 20+ years the way you have, so no, I don't know my way around your unit and no, I don't know what you normally do here. How am I supposed to learn when none of you are friendly or even make the slightest concession to notice me? Get outta here.
I remember being in grade 12 in high school, looking outside and seeing it was gorgeous weather, and being confined to my basement (where my computer was located) to finish a huge biology project on evolution. I became a believer of evolutionist theory that weekend, but I also remember distinctly aching for the school year to be done. The moment when it finally hit me that I was ready to be finished with high school, a feeling that was relatively delayed (relative to the way my peers were feeling).
The same sort of feeling just hit me about university. I think I am ready to be done with my undergraduate career and move on to new things in my life - new challenges and opportunities. I am finishing school in less than 3 weeks. My last few weeks of classes at this institution I've learned to call home for the past 4 years. I can't believe it. I've spent years in educational settings dreaming of the life I would have when I would be done with elementary school, then high school, then university. And now I'm standing on the doorstep.
This feeling is incredibly powerful. I'm looking forward to a busy summer: in April, down south for a week, in June, my RN exam, last regatta as coach for my university crew, and Europe for 6-7 weeks. In August, camping in northern Ontario for 7 days and 6 nights. And in September, working full-time.
I am nothing but thrilled and excited to get out there and live in the real world.
What's on your holiday wishlist?
I'm going to answer and be all sappy while I do this.
My previous post... haha false alarm. I stopped enjoying his company... less than a week after that post. Hahaha.
Anyway. I've finally decided what kind of person I want to be with, dating-wise and relationship-wise. I want someone that I have that chemistry with, that certain je ne sais quoi. Someone who will be good to me the way I want to be good to them. Someone who is confident and who challenges me. Someone I can love without feeling like it's going to come crashing down on me. I know this all sounds pretty basic but this is what I've come to after a lot of thinking.
I also want to stop with the random hookups. No more!
And I resolve to meet as many new people as possible and get to know them without being in a relationship first.
Okay these are more resolutions than anything but why wait for New Year's?! =)
