1 post tagged “movies”
Today, actually, this whole week, I could not stop thinking about the boy. I mean really thinking about him.
I feel like when I was with the boy I lost sight of who I was before I was with him, who I was while I was with him, and after we ended things, I began to have confidence in my identity again. And I don't know if I can blame him for losing myself. I don't think I can. It was more that we were so head-over-heels for each other that we started to almost... absorb each other's personalities. And we spent such an unhealthy amount of time together that it's a wonder we didn't lose ourselves earlier. Or at least figure out earlier that that had happened.
The scientist really annoyed the fuck out of me last week and this week. I fell so fast and now I am pulling myself up and taking a look at the situation and disliking it slightly. He tends to be over-analytical (haha, like myself) but doesn't seem to have a sense of humour about most things. And this... this does not impress me. My favourite thing about the boy and I was that we spent most of our time laughing and making jokes and doing fun things. And the thing I admired most about him was that he was just himself without any apologies; he wasn't lacking self-confidence by any means. And I know that above all this is a quality that I look for most in men. And thus far I have only been able to find it in a few.
The scientist so far last week has shown me an inability to relax and let things go, a lack of a sense of humour, and that he isn't all that self-confident. I'm starting to be unimpressed and now I am thinking too much about the situation. My mom tells me to use my heart instead of my head because I can tend to be a bit too sensible, but I can't help it. I just do not feel the same about him this week.
I will try to be optimistic about it. But it's pretty much the most irritating thing in the world when you want to move on from a certain subject and the other person just dredges it up again, and again... and again.
I also watched Juno tonight and thought it was adorable. I thought of the boy the entire time while watching it. When will he get out of my head? Soon, I hope.
